3.56am

It's 3.56am. 

I just finished eating, and now waiting for Subuh.

Twenty-four hours from now, I'll be having sahur in the flight.

Malaysia bound, MH001.

Ahhh.. I've never felt so excited to go home.

It was my choice to stay, albeit another or probably better opportunity waited at home. I can't stress more that I don't regret because to me, every little step taken is a learning step. I was forced to meet new people and do new things that I've never thought I'd do. Plus, good news keep on coming lately, one after another. Sometimes, I am ashamed of myself. God slips off my mind every so often, but He never forgets to shower me with love. Ar-rahman.

Anyway, Ika took the picture below and said I look like a refugee. Haha.

I was actually trying to recall where did I put the things-to-bring-back-home list. The last thing I want to do in Malaysia is thinking ohh it was on the table that day, now 384647382 km away. I'll be back to the land of Roti Canai, Teh Tarik and Bubur Lambuk. Yeayeayay!!

Ohh, I still have to go to work today, last day in the office. Better go back to sleep now.  My flight will be at 10pm, so there'll be a bit of rushing and running involved here. Hope I'll get to the airport in time.

By the way, Happy Merdeka, peeps!! Are we? Or we're just refugees in our own country?

I just realised we've entered the final 10 days of Ramadhan,

Food Galore

Ok. you can stop drooling now.

And swallow whatever you have in the mouth.

Sometimes I do crave for one of those soggy yet finger-licking-good Ramlee burgers in malaysia. I remember when I was in high school, my dad would get hungry at midnight. He would then go to usj 9 (subang jaya) and bring back small square yellow polystyrene packs. They were from this one little stall with radiator-powered fluorescent light at the corner of a shop lot, managed by a group of youngsters. The meat was halved and cooked on the big hot pan, then it was nicely wrapped in egg with barbecue sauce and mayonaise on top and a bag of fries to complement it. Gulp.

Well, back to reality, we might not get Ramlee burger anywehere here, but GBK's burgers are the yummiest ever in the uk. They're quite pricey but every single piece that goes through your digestive system is worth every penny spent. You'll be wanting more before you know it, and that's why these people bought another one each for sahur.

Chicken with Camembert & Cranberry.

Talking about food reminds me of Ramadhan Bazaar, the only place where we're allowed to be seen with a both hands full with food without inviting unwanted looks because everyone surround you is also starving. 

I.Can't.Wait.

Ohh, that also reminds me of the time when we took a non-malaysian friend to have dinner at Malaysia Hall one day. We ordered rendang, kerabu and ikan bakar for him and he started to eat. We got quite nervous inside, unsure of how his reaction would be. But after a very long and excruciating silence, he broke it off with an aahhhhh.. and started saying no wonder when my mates came back from Malaysia, all they talked about was food, food and food. There I was, suddenly a proud Malaysian.

Anyway, I would really love to be able to have every adventures I've had in this country at the back of my head, but being an engineering student means I was forced to dump everything here instead. The past, present and future. No I'm not trying to air my dirty laundry for you to criticize (although welcomed) but merely a diary where I can look back in twenty years to remind the youthful enthusiasm I once had.

So cheers to the beginning of the journey..

Gazilionaire

"I wanna a be a billionaire, so freaking bad.

Buy all of the things I've never had.

I wanna be on the cover of, Forbes magazine.

Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen"

So many times have I mentioned before that I don't quite enjoy embedding videos on the blog, but this one (just like the others) is an exception. Hehe. I just have to share this, cause I bet my arms and legs that reading the words above makes you realise yes! this is what I wanna be. Not necessarily someone with money, but definitely with power. 

Money equals power anyway, or so I like to think. Call me shallow, but I have my own reason for believing what is thought ridiculous by others. Seeing live examples and sometime experiencing myself makes me open both eyes, with one looking forward contemplating the plans ahead while the other facing backward trying to learn from the past. And it's simply fortuitous that the song came right after I talked about the Fear book in the previous post, which incorporated in it is the power of err power. Hehe.

What makes me fall even more in love with the song, is the video clip itself. I was imagining men with bling bling, hot chicks grinding in a pool of dollar notes and designer items on every inch of the body prior to watching the video. But there was none of the abovementioned. Look for yourself :

Instead, they cleverly show glowing faces doing good deeds to portray the state of having the liberty to live whatever life you heart desires. You may wish for more money, but you know sometimes if not always, money is disastrous. But if we happen to have a full bag of it, why not share it with the needy? However different you interpretation of the clip might be from mine, I still believe being free is greatly coveted and envied.

Plus, I find Bruno Mars' voice really nice and he sings beautifully.

On a separate matter, I'm thinking of travelling alone to Morocco. What do you say? I've received a lot of negative reactions whenever I say this out loud. I need support, please. =)

This song has been on repeat every morning,

Fear

"There is nothing that is more certain sign of insanity than to do the same thing over and over again and expect the results to be different", Albert Einstein once said (And that's how Ugly Betty defines insane people too)

Anyway, I've lived by this phrase for years. Call it absurd, but it's been my motivation to try something new and different for those useful years. I used to hear myself saying "I'll do it!" when I was all thrilled and electrified over something new. Be it the celebrity doctor diet program, the work placement opening or the volunteering opportunity.
Anything.

However, the next second I was already thinking "But this can wait"

or, "when the time comes..then!"

or even, "but I don't have the power to do it"

then every small and possible excuses came avalanched down the mountain. And there I was again, going through the day with mundane routines. I was evidently a loser.

Then one day I found a book which has remarkably changed the way I deal with everyday life.
It has appreciably changed the way I make decisions.
Changed me in a lot of way that it'll take the whole decade of talking and listening to complete.

Let me introduce you to
Feel the Fear... And Do It Anyway!

It teaches you that having fear is normal, everyone has it. Multi-millionaires have it, celebrities have it, I feel it and you too. Look around, chances are those people are afraid of something. But what differentiate all the famous entrepreneurs and I is they managed to, in one way or another, confront the fear and deceive it. While I, on the other hand, successfully let fear barricades that road to triumph. But over the years I've learned and trained myself not to lose to this destructive weapon, fear.

Anyway, the phrase and book combined, I admit I'm nowhere close to fearless, but I feel so much better bringing myself about in the world. I've committed myself in what I've always wished to do. I'm glad.

It's not courage, peeps, It's fear.

We're working on something new and different =)

I remember the first ever baby step I took was initiating a blogshop. I was scared of the responses and feedbacks that I almost gave up. What if nobody wants to buy from me? Will people think negatively of my way of making money? What if I can't focus?

With the help of two amazing sisters, we slowly built an online business. We got more than what we bargained for, and finally launched two. Bulan Luna and Our Spring Cleaning. It was nothing big, but it was a huge success. We sold 90% of the stock in the first night alone. I was exhilarated beyond control. Proud of my sisters and myself. I knew we made great partners.

Unfortunately, both didn't last long. Due to time constraint, studies and work commitment, we had to cease the project. I'll continue one day, I promise.

If god permits that is,

Edit the Wardrobe 1

I'm writing this just seconds after discovering blogspot's new cool feature.

I can have pages!

Yes, Yes, I've got two pages now right above this post.

They're clickable. Go Go. Hehe.

Recently, I've decided to do some decluttering and sell some of my stuff.

I realised I've shrunk one size as compared to the beginning of this year. *sobs* 

So here they are :

GUESS Pink Top

Size M

RM 90

MNG Turtleneck

Size M

RM 59

Zara White Shirt

Size S

RM 85

(The cutting is rather loose, suitable for M wearer)

Nafnaf Brown Top

Size L

RM 65

Cotton On Skinny Cardigan

Size M

RM 49

Tommy Hilfiger Blue Lola Long Sleeve Top

Size M

RM 99

K by Karl Lagerfield Skinny Jeans

Waist 27

RM 499 (negotiable)

(brand new. bought this a couple of months ago, but haven't got the chance to wear. 

Now it's a tad too big)

Happy Shopping.

In the mood for

tap, 1 , 2 , 3 , tap , 5 , 6 , 7 ..

I am in the beginners' class of course!

Honestly, not a recommended thing to do while fasting. 

Half an hour into the class and I was already half dead.

It was a fun new experience, nevertheless =)

Fact vs Fact

The half an hour tube ride in the evening is never a pleasant one. People are rushing back, exhausted from the long working hours that it's almost impossible to see a commuter with a smile. There are times when I'm lucky to get a seat and frantic to find a newspaper being left behind. Otherwise, it'll just be another girl standing in the train with her earphone plugged in and her scarf distorted.

Even so, I always have this book to accompany me throughout the ride in the crammed and overflowing carriage.

It contains important historical events that had happened in the past for every day of the year. The author has also included interesting facts that never fail to have me go aahhh, oohhh, ahhhh and *grin*.

Let's see what's there for today.

Senegal achieved its independence on 20th August 1960. 

It is the most westerly country in Africa.

But hang on! Tomorrow's are more interesting.

"A real life, female Dracula died on 21st August 1614. Countess Elizabeth Bathori, the niece of King Stephen of Poland, but originally of Transylvanian descent, took to kidnapping young girls and bathing in their fresh blood to preserve her own beauty. When her gruesome secret was discovered in 1610, she had already disposed of 650 victims and she was walled up in her own room for her final years."

and

"The last state was added to the union of USA when Hawaii became the fiftieth on 21st August 1959. Mount Wai-'Ale'Ale on Hawaii Island is one of the wettest places on earth. Rain falls there almost every day of the year and there are scarcely seven days in the year when rain does not fall."

So, did the book put your history and general knowledge to a test?

Curious to find out what happened on your birthdate? Hehe.

Anyway, on a separate matter, I thank God for giving me the time to perform my first tarawih in jama'ah since Ramadhan started. Isya' is way too late here, 22:40 most of the days, that I could never do tarawih without being late for work the next morning. I'm so proud of myself even when I had to stay until midnight.

A conversation we had in the car,

Ai : Did you know that it's forbidden to perform any sunna prayers after performing the obligatory Asr prayer, until Maghrib kicks in? 

Amir : But there are exceptions to some of them.

Ai : No. Any sunna prayers are disliked and sinful in this period. Same for after Fajr prayer.

Me : Errr.... REALLY??!! 

Thinking of all those effort I've put just before we left for iftar.

And, the most vital book in life.

Two is better than One

What do you do when you're too miserable and at the verge of breaking down? You find someone to confide in.

You're lucky if that someone is just a mile away. 

She will be there even before you shed your first drop of tear. 

You're lucky if that someone is the person you share the bed with.

You cry all night long and still wake up next to the same person in the morning.

You're lucky if that someone is the person you see everyday.

You can take a ten minute break off life and return to the same exact point.

But what if that someone is halfway across the globe?

You can rant, whine, cry through skype.

She listens to you ranting, whining and crying through the phone.

But it's never the same.

It'll never be the same.

My comfort is so far that I usually break down even before I can reach her. Haha.

But when I finally get her, she'll be the one pulling me up and help me stand straight on my two feet. She'll be the one supporting my back when everybody is pushing against me. She says the right thing at the right moment.

And although we haven't been anywhere within a metre from each other for the last few months, I know I'm lucky to have her in my life.

Our friendship began with me thinking what a spoilt snobbish city girl she is, and with her having what an arrogant selfish bitch this girl is in her mind. There was no spark, no admiration. We turned out to be two modest girls destined to be together. It wasn't all smiles and laughs, I've seen her worst and she's been there through my most unfortunate event. In fact, we developed a unique, special relationship over time through boarding school.

First, there was studies. The more competitive she became, the more ego I was. And we ended up being the top two girls at graduation (I lost, of course hehe). 

Then there was the career. She is the person I seek advice from, to guide me through every step I choose, and to lead me to the level I aim. She is the girl I look up to, my inspiration whenever I feel like an utter failure.

Then there was fashion. I let you all judge this, as I don't think we're too great with fashion, neither too terrible. We don't have too many clothes, we don't own too many accessories. We have totally different taste, hers is more elegant classic type while mine is, well, I have no idea? Hehe.

Then the love stories. Needless to say, this is the most favourite topic. Guess I'll just keep and lock them in our little secret box. I've been through a lot and so does she, but we have each other to hold on to everytime.

Anyway, she turns twenty two today. Double 2. Super old.

"Happy birthday, Ainul"

She's full of philosophy, I don't deny. She leaves me with lots of thoughts to ponder everytime, and I always complain. But deep down, I always know what she's trying to teach. She wants me to become a better person, and she motivates me in achieving that particular goal.

No matter how far we are, we always find a way to make it feel so near.

She came to London last winter, and I'm hoping to go to the States next winter. Well, I have to. Before she graduates.

She's a friend. The best of friend indeed.

And the best part is,

We never sugarcoat, we tell the truth.

No matter how painful and mean it may sound.

She resuscitates, if that's not too much

Embarrassing moments

1. One day, my boss came to me while I was writing the blog.
Haha. I don't deny I sometimes blog at work.
Anyway, as quick as the lightning can come to strike the midnight sky,
I grabbed the mouse to minimise the window.
Clicked, but nothing happened.
Click. Click. Click.
The window froze and I was sweating, panicking.
I could feel his breath over the shoulder.
Oh man!!

2. Another day, I was reading LadyVerde's blog.
One of my daily dose.
I could sense my boss' presence that I quickly opened a word file to hide the blog. Yep, lesson learnt ! =)
"Can I use your computer for a while?"
"Sure!" and I moved away.
He took the mouse and started to minimise all my active windows to open a new IE. One by one.
First, the word file. Beneath it was the excel file.
Then, Adobe Reader. Then, Outlook. Power Point.
Another excel
and....
Google Chrome!!

He literally shrieked upon seeing this

"What is this, Yazira?!!"

Hahahaha. Damn.

I was scrolling down her page when he came, 

didn't realise I stopped right at this photo.

3. Next, it was the third day of fasting, and my stomach was grumbling so loud that my boss could hear it. He looked at me and said "understandable" with a smile.

Hehe.

Oohh, the picture's taken way after he left,

LondonCycleHire

Only god knows when was the last time I intensively stretched all my muscle and moved the joints. I let them hibernate for years and I haven't been to the gym for so long, let alone running and jogging. The closest activity to running that I do regularly and very proud of is walking, for 10 minutes that is. Yes, I'm living a very unhealthy life.

However, I somehow gained a lot of unwanted energy to do sports recently. It came out of nowhere, I tell you. I went dancing, running, swimming, playing wii sports whenever there's chance and I've finally lifted these up for the first time after keeping them among the junks for four months!! =)

Anyway, when a friend got himself the Boris Johnson's cycle hire membership, I became too envious that I registered myself there and then. And three days later, I found this envelope in the mailbox and it's got the famous Transport for London logo on it.

the envelope

YippieHippie!! I was so excited !

Today after work, Ika and I planned to go out walking to enjoy and appreciate the city. We met at Leicester Square where Angeline Jolie was having her red carpet for the movie SALT, with the hope to get at least a glimpse of her but it was too crowded. We were like hobbits amongst a horde of screaming giants. Thank god there was no stampede.

So we half-heartedly left the place and went cycling instead.

on your mark.

It was so much fun!! We went round the Hyde Park and left the bicycles at Lancaster Gate. There are hundreds of docking stations across the city, so it's really convenient to just grab one at your office and return it next to your house.

get set.

go!!!

By the way, this is currently available to members only, registered via their website. Bicycle hire for casual use is coming soon! I know it may not be the first of its kind, Melbourne has it, Paris has it, but it's definitely something Londoners have been waiting for decades.

Oh, the bicycle comes with a bell. Only the rattan basket is missing..

In my honest opinion..

Way back in high school, I couldn't be bothered to pat toner on my face every morning, apply sunscreen after moisturiser, then foundation, concealer, powder and the list goes on.
I lived on with a tube of cleanser and a bottle of night cream.

My two saviours

But when I came to the uk, I started to experience skin irritation. I could not just use any over the counter facial product. I noticed redness and dry patches everywhere, pimples kept coming unwelcomed and skin peeled off like it was nobody's business. I found myself depressed and my self-esteem plummeted 3563742 feet down the ground.

I blamed the weather, the long lecture hours, the postman for my delayed letters, the cars exhaust, the grumpy neighbour and practically every little thing that I supposed could affect my hormone. haha. I became one super emotional girl.

Then one day, I saw the Bio Oil advert on TV. Quite convincing with their larger than world claims plus they've got Oprah backing them up, so I went to the pharmacy and grabbed a bottle.

But after months and months of waiting, there was no significant change. The skin was still dry, it even got worse at times that I found myself back to my own dark, solitary confinement.

I then tried numerous products. From no brand to Dermalogica to SK II. Nothing works. But some three months ago, I saw this while walking up the stairs at Shepherd's Bush.

Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair

Since it's already time for me to give anti-ageing products a little thought and given that this serum has won many rewards, why not try it right? I didn't expect miracle overnight of course, but it has made quite a big difference to the appearance of my skin. And most importantly, no dry patches anymore, phewww...

Anyway, if, still, nothing works just buy that bulky expensive slr camera and it will do magic to your pictures. Hehe.

I don't really like the smell of the serum though

the path less trodden

I've been blog hopping quite a lot lately, and every page I visit, people seem to be doing the same one particular thing.

And I'm gonna try it today :

scarf : Tie Rack

top : Paul Smith

jeans : dvb for Rock&Republic

bag : Longchamp Le Pliage

Yikess!! Ok, so my wardrobe ain't that great, or fancy for that matter.

Nobody will be interested anyway.

That'll probably be my first and last attempt. Hehe.

Anyhow, the real topic for the day is a colleague's farewell.

She was on annual leave for five weeks before, for a dance workshop in the States. 

That was when I came into the picture and took over all her jobs. 

So my internship is actually replacing someone, doing her work, rather than learning about the business.

But then again, I don't have any complaint as I reckon I learn more quickly doing real tasks. I started communicating with counter parties and providers, quoting contractual agreements since day one.

Was I scared? Of course.

Do I love it? Oh yes!

But when she came back to the office last week, she brought a good (or bad) news for souvenir.

She wants to become a professional dancer! and was leaving the office.

Now that she's got everything, the road seems clear and unwound.

Won a dancing competition. Check. Feature in a dancing film. check.

attend seminar and workshops, meet the gurus. check. check. check

So, last Friday, we went out for lunch to celebrate her new career.

- I couldn't fast, so I coyly accepted her invitation for lunch. lol. -

She's an inspiration, I daresay.

She's very courageous to leave behind a secure, well-paid job in order to pursue her passion and dream.

This is a person who graduated with a first class honour in engineering.

From a reputable university in the uk.

Worked with high ranked companies in the country.

Paid, of course, well enough to feed her family for 15 more years.

Nevertheless, she's a woman to be looked up to.

Brrrppp.. excuse me =D

Mobile broadband

As previously mentioned, I am currently on mobile broadband.

Yes, limited data usage, limited speed etc etc

But that's the best option so far.

Due to some unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances, we are getting our home broadband later than expected.

Much later than promised, in fact.

I was piqued when refused attention by the Seller. 

He was rude, ignorant and everything in between.

I have already sent a super long complaint to the broadband provider anyway, so let's not talk about it anymore.

*smile* and reach up for the sky.

Anyhow! I'm sure these pictures would leave most girls out there jaw-dropped.

That's my dongle, and it's PINK.

I'm loving it. It makes me wanna go online every second lol.

Oh, and I finally skyped with my mum!!

Never thought I can skype through mobile broadband.